Well you’ve popped the question, you got a yes, or you wouldn’t be reading this. One of the main roles you will now play is that of a supportive fiancé. Having a firm and unflappable demeanour that your loved one can rely upon as a voice of reason when pressures rise, tempers fray and emotions run rampant.
It is not unusual for a groom to feel more than a little left out of the planning stages of the wedding. It can seem that you, the groom, had the most important duty to perform in proposing, but now all eyes are focused on your fiancé. Obviously, your presence on the actual day is just as vital to the occasion as hers, but there is plenty that you must and can be doing between now and then.
If you haven’t started already it’s time to get stuck into the nitty-gritty of planning your wedding. It can seem overwhelming and far more complicated than you ever imagined. There are so many components; so many different people needed in order for it be the day you dreamed of. From budgeting, choosing a venue for the ceremony and reception, booking entertainment and photographer, choosing a menu, organizing wedding day transport, if honeymooning overseas then passports, visas, making sure the best man knows what is required from him. The list seems endless.
Knowing your priorities and delegating certain tasks to others will help you get there relatively un-scathed.
It is in the creating of a ceremony where I can take the difficulty and stress out of the equation by supplying a resource folder of all components of the ceremony and many ideas to make the day run as smoothly as possible.
There are many books, websites and online resources to help with the general budgeting, etiquette, planning and all other aspects of the wedding. On the day itself I will be there well ahead of time to run through the layout and order of proceedings with you and your groomsmen. I will meet the bride and her attendants upon her arrival and make sure any last minute problems get smoothed out.
On the day and during the ceremony it is your job to be on time, sober, listen attentively, answer questions with the appropriate responses and support your loving bride. If there are any areas of unease that must be dealt with the best man should be asked to do this and if necessary I will liaise with anybody from photographer to venue management if problems arise. You should not be asked to deal with trivialities on the day, delegate !
THE SPEECH:
Just when you thought all the hard work was over and you could sit back relax, enjoy the day, it’s time for the speeches. The good news is the weight of expectation is not on the groom, rather, it’s on the best man. Never the less, your speech is extremely important to many people – not least your bride. This is probably going to be one of the few times in your marriage when you stand up in public and tell the world what she means to you.
Traditionally the order of the speeches is, the Bride’s father who finishes his speech with a toast to the health of the bride and groom. Then the Groom, who responds to the bride’s father on behalf of the bride and himself and ends by toasting the bridesmaids and usually introducing the best man, during the speech you will also present flowers to the two mothers, and thank you gifts to the best man, groomsmen and bridesmaids. The best man then replies on behalf of the bridesmaids and groomsmen, thanking the bride and groom for gifts, gives a hilarious speech and reads any messages and best wishes. What in the past were Telegrams (Millennials can Google that to find out more)
DOS and DON’TS:
Keep the length down to 7 minutes or 1000 words – keep in mind all of your audience, their age and sensibilities.
The introduction is possibly the most important part of the speech because you want to grab your guest’s attention right from the start. So begin in a confident, slow and authoritative voice. Make eye contact; don’t keep your head down at your prompt cards. Speak into the microphone as there is bound to be background noise and elderly guests and so speaking slowly and clearly is important.
IN SHORT:
Welcome everybody, thank the parents of the bride, and mention any absent friends, special thank you for wedding organizers, celebrant, anybody who helped (e.g. brides sister who helped with the flowers etc).
Say a few words about the bride and how gorgeous she looks, propose a toast to the bridesmaids and by way of handing over to your best man, say a few words of thanks to him and ask him to be kind.
DOS:
1. Keep it personal
2. Make a joke or two
3. Say what you want
4. Thank all the people that helped
5. Try to relax before and during your speech.
DON’TS:
1.Be embarrassing
2. Forget peoples names
3. Talk just for the sake of it (be concise and have direction)
4. Swear or use any profanity
5.Get drunk beforehand.
6. Try and wing it – Write it down! (It’s too important to try and “wing it”)
There are many great books to help you and Googling Groom’s speeches will reap rewarding results. Talk through the speech with the best man and make sure you don’t steal any of his thunder by telling his killer joke before he gets a chance to.
A couple of Jokes that may help get you started:
Many people have told me how lucky I am to be marrying (bride’s name) Including (Bride’s name) – “very lucky” was the phrase she used as I recall, followed by “and don’t forget it!”.
(Bride’s name) and I began our relationship like many young couples, by spending almost every moment together; during which time (Bride’s name) tried to decide if she could do any better ……….
This is just a few ideas, do your research and make it your own. Reading the Best man and the Brides pages may also be of benefit:
https://yourcelebrant.wordpress.com/2020/04/13/best-man-live-up-to-the-title/
https://yourcelebrant.wordpress.com/2020/04/13/brides-speech-yes-or-no/
If I can be of further assistance do not hesitate to contact me: https://www.yourcelebrant.com.au
