Marriage is not a 50 / 50 deal.
If you enter into matrimony thinking that if you bring your half to the table and your partner brings their half all will be sweetness and light then you may well be in for a rude surprise down the track. I am not a qualified marriage counsellor but having said that, I have been around for awhile and have had hundreds of conversations with couples of all ages and in all states of relationship dynamics.
My simply observation is this – Marriage is a 100 / 100 deal. Each party needs to be “All-In” that is to say 100% behind the relationship regardless of where their partner is currently sitting on the commitment scales. So when things are in flux you still have a strong, viable connection and commitment that will allow you to bend, but not break. Travel, work and financial pressures, children, extended family and a myriad of other distractions all impact on the relationship we have with our partner; that is a given.
But when you say the words “In sickness and in health, for better or worse” or whatever your chosen vows are, there is no mention of half the time, or sometimes or when the mood takes me. If you bring your 100% to the table then the minimum commitment is still 100% and isn’t that what you want from your partner ?
Do not worry about the scales not always being in balance; marriage doesn’t work like that. Marriage is a roller coaster and roller coasters are not flat for a reason, so climb on board, buckle up, hold your partner tight and get ready for some ups and downs, dips and curves, plenty of laughing and possibly some screaming and when all else fails throw your hand in the air and enjoy the ride… together !